Dirty laundry..and why you should sort it out privately

It seems that there is a new episode of relationship drama on my timeline almost daily nowadays. Every morning when I do my random scroll, I see people arguing with their spouses for the world to see, or just engaging in a full blown subliminal war on seperate pages. Lately the back and forths have been completely out of control, and extremely revealing of things the public definitely shouldn’t know about.

I’ve seen so much of some of my Facebook friends’ personal business that I feel like I know their partners’ side chicks personally. You no longer have to wish you were a fly on the wall to find out juicy secrets,like folks used to say.  Now you can easily find all the juicy info on FB walls.

The question that came to mind as I read the latest relationship drama this morning was this: why are people so quick to go public with their personal business these days? Has social media turned us out to the point that we don’t even mind embarrassing ourselves as long as we have an audience to view it? Is it specifically for attention, or have we turned social media accounts into interactive journals for ourselves? Is it in hopes that all the drama will go viral?

Nothing good ever comes out of  airing out your dirty laundry for the world to see. The truth is the majority of the audience you’re allowing so much access to doesn’t even really care about what you’re going through. They just want entertainment, and something to talk about among their friends. Are the likes and laughs truly important enough to you that you will further damage your relationship with someone in order to keep receiving them? Here are some reasons why airing your dirty laundry is way more harmful than helpful.

It only makes you feel good temporarily

You may be very upset, hurt, or disappointed, and at the moment the only thing that makes you happy is to attempt to “call out” your partner or friend publicly. For that moment, it might feel great. You may feel like you’re “winning” the battle at the time,but that feeling will only be short-lived. Once the excitement of getting back at that person wears off, you’re left with the same issues you started out with. The only difference is that now all your friends, colleagues, employers, church members, etc   know you have beef and are willing to go to immature lengths to retaliate.

It makes the relationship dynamics even worse

When you go out of your way to not only get back at someone, but do it publicly, you can almost be certain that the person you’re targeting will not be a happy camper, especially if they’re a private person. Going public with drama only adds more drama and tension. It also causes the person you’re targeting to lose trust in you (if they haven’t already lost it), which won’t make for a good situation if you two ever decide to make up and work on the relationship. You don’t want to throw gasoline on a fire by going public.

You open the door for retaliation you may not be ready for

Its easy to forget that the same way you can go online and post humiliating or negative things about someone is the same way that they can turn around to do the same (or worse) to you. If you are going to play a game of beefing online, you should prepare yourself for the retaliation that is more than likely on the way. Don’t be surprised if the person you have targeted doesn’t come back with information that can completely embarrass you for the same audience. People that feel targeted tend to clap back in a more vicious manner, because they have time to  figure out something that will top the comments you made. It’s a dangerous game that can end in a lot of really personal information being revealed. It’s best to just avoid online beef altogether.

The moral of the story? Dirty laundry is meant to be sorted out privately, and airing it publicly won’t make your laundry any cleaner. Work to improve relationships with others and resolve the problems, instead of trying to exploit them for entertainment and temporary attention from others.

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