So the actor/author Hill Harper recently revealed that he adopted a son 18 months ago, and I’m so here for every bit of that! He talked about how a friend talked him into it knowing that he wanted kids eventually, and I think that was probably the greatest advice he could have ever received. It’s not everyday you hear about single black men deciding to adopt children, and it’s a topic that should be brought up more when discussing parenting.
Harper said “I always thought I was going to get married, have my own kids and I was going to adopt.I had talked about adopting and I had talked about wanting to be this dad, and she said, ‘You’re going to be a great dad but I think you’re waiting too long. You may get to a point where you’ll decide you’re not going to do it. Even though you’re not married, why can’t you just be a dad now?’
Harper was able to even be there in the delivery room on the day of his son’s birth to cut the umbilical cord. How beautiful is that! That had to be exciting, an experience I’m sure he’ll remember forever.
“I actually went from the set of ‘All Eyez on Me,” flew to where she was giving birth and I was there in the delivery room and I cut the cord,” he said.
With so many negative opinions floating around about fathers (particularly black fathers), it’s truly a breath of fresh air to read about a single man choosing to take on parenthood all by himself, just as many single mothers tend to experience. His actions are a great example that you don’t have to sit around waiting for marriage, be involved in a toxic relationship, or be able to have a baby yourself in order to still raise and love a child. There are plenty of children out there, from newborns to teenagers, that deserve a loving home and support system that they may not have.
“Every day you’re making a different set of decisions that you feel impact the future of this wonderful person,” he said. “That’s a challenge. It’s a beautiful challenge but it’s a challenge.”
We definitely need more positive stories such as this promoted in the media, as it is a great motivator and inspiration for those considering adoption, or those just simply needing to see that doing it by yourself is totally okay. Don’t be afraid to go it alone if you have to, or if you feel you still want to raise a child while single, in case you feel a relationship or marriage is nowhere in sight.
Kudos to Hill Harper for being a great example of healthy single parenting! Aren’t they just too cute?!